I'll Only Go To France On Tank Treads
Posted on Fri Oct 4th, 2024 @ 5:45am by Lieutenant Commander Kirche Zerbst & Captain Louise Valliére
1,107 words; about a 6 minute read
Mission:
Anubis Rises
Location: USS Anubis (NCC-93310), Main Engineering, Deck TBD
Timeline: MD01 1100 Hours
As was to be expected, Engineering was in complete disarray when Louise arrived to conduct her inspection: construct equipment lay strewn about in areas where it was very easy to trip over them, hatches were carelessly left open where people could fall into them, and a tangled mess of cables dangled from the catwalks as they waited to be hooked up. Of course, it was partially to be expected, given the state of the Shuttlebay when she had first arrived, but Louise would think these idiots would have the courtesy of cleaning up this pigsty in anticipation of her imminent arrival.
Safe to say that once Louise entered the engine room, she wasn't impressed in the slightest. She had been told that this ship would be more or less ready for battle once she came aboard, not still in pieces. "Chief Engineer?!" she shouted out as she stood with her hands on her hips.
"Well, well, well... look what the cat dragged in..." came a familiar voice from somewhere up above her.
Louise instantly groaned. That was voice she recognised, and frankly didn't miss in the slightest. "Kirche? What the hell are you doing ojn my ship?!" she called out. "Get down here, stop hiding!"
"Ah, so the Schneckenfresser recognizes me," the voice retorted as a tall, curvaceous, dark-skinned woman loomed into view on the catwalk. "And here I was getting worried you wouldn't remember me after all these years... not."
"Don't make me come up there!" Louise growled. "Wait..." she paused and then let out a long groan as she rested her forehead in her palm. "Don't tell me you're my..."
"Oh, don't pretend you didn't see that one coming, Princess," Kirche sneered as she made her way down. "And for your information, I didn't have much of a choice in the matter myself."
"You're telling me that some asshole put you in-fucking-charge of my engine room?!" Louise snapped back.
"Oh, lemme guess... her name starts with an "L"?" Kirche quipped.
Louise scowled at her. "Its a good job that you're needed here isn't it..." she said in a low dangerous tone. "Look. I'm still a Captain of this ship. And as much as I don't like it, YOU are the Chief Engineer." She told her sternly. "Now, Lieutenant Commander. I was told this ship was supposed to be ready for battle as soon as I arrived. Tell me why it's not!"
"Do you want the long version or a Reader's digest for your tiny little brain?" Kirche asked.
Continuing to scowl Louise placed a hand on the handle of the knife attached to her belt. "Give me the reason that won't land you in the booth. As much as I'd love to see you squirm in there, and as much as I hate to admit it. You're still the best officer for the job." She paused a sly smile spreading across her face. "But I won't hesitate to punish anyone who deserves it for... incompetence..." she looked at some of the officer's watching the conversation, they scattered away quickly. Then her head turned back to face Kirche. "Or disrespect!"
"Well, as it turns out, building a ship that's actually three ships is far easier said than done," Kirche replied, evidently unfazed by Louise's threats. "You've essentially got to duplicate all the major systems- be it warp cores, computer cores, life support, shielding grids- and then you've somehow got to figure out how to A.) connect all of these systems together in a way that they don't cannibalize each other, and B.) evenly distribute power across the whole ship. Factor in all the experimental tech that the Council's requested, and you've got yourself a work order that's longer than your arm."
"You have an entire shipyard." Louise said flatly. "Pull some people off of those older wrecks if you have to." She told her referring to the older ships that had been long abandoned in their docks many years ago. Most of them were highly advanced when the Empire originally fell and now they were either being retrofitted or broken down for materials. "It's not like they're going anywhere and we're needed to fight the Alliance."
"Don't think that was one of the first things I considered, sugar tits?" Kirche remarked. "I've suspended just about every other job in this yard that isn't already a top priority so that we can divert our efforts to getting this ship done, but it's not like I can wave a magic wand and have it all miraculously wired up for you! Stuff like this needs to be carefully planned out, lest you risk overloading all the major subsystems and leaving us dead in the water with a pack of Galors circling us!"
'Sugar tit?! Sugar tits!' Louise thought. 'Like she can talk!'. She relaxed a little a mischievous smirk emerging on her face. "I'm sure you'll find a way." She said. "We've got four days to get this ship out of spacedock. If we're not operational... Then it'll be the Admiralty that you'll be answer to." Louise continued to smirk. "So I suggest you get this ship running by then, pull some favours, no matter how many beds you have to jump in." She looked directly at Kirche. "You seem to be good at that... right?"
Kirche folded her arms. "It's cute that you think you're insulting me. I mean, maybe if this were 16 years ago, it'd be a different story, but I probably stopped caring after I had to play 'meat urinal' for the fifth go-around... but I'll see what I can do."
"Four days. I don't care how you do it, or who you have to 'do' to achieve it. Just get my ship ready to serve the Empire." Louise said sharply. "The rest of the senior staff will be arriving within those four days. You will be attending a meeting before we leave, and if we can't leave, you're the one explaining why!" She paused once again. "Clear?"
"As crystal," Kirche affirmed.
"I'm glad we have an understanding." Louise said. She turned on a heel without another word and strode towards the doors leading out if engineering, her hair trailing through the air in her wake.
"Verdammte Schlampe..." Kirche grumbled to herself once Louise was out of earshot.
Posting by (In order of appearance):
Captain Louise Valliere
Commanding Officer, ISS Anubis (NCC-93310)
Lieutenant Commander Kirche Zerbst
Chief Engineer, ISS Anubis (NCC-93310)
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